Picking a guy at random to be 'attracted’ to.Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them). ![]() Only developing 'attraction’ to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him.Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities.It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard. These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”.
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